Hopelessly Blissfull and Blind
by SerenNoir
Summary: Roy is feeling despondent and tries to take his life. Who will be there to raise him from the dark and step in, bringing light to his own personal hell? Yaoishonen ai RoyXEd
1. Hopelessly Blissful and Blind

**Chapter One: Hopelessly Blissful and Blind**

**Comments: This is my first FullMetal Alchemist story so forgive me if I don't spell things right or get timelines all screwy. This is going to be a chapter story but each chapter will be like a drabble; real short. It will turn into a shonen ai/yaoi story so if you don't like then don't read. I don't want to hear you complain. **

**Mood Song: Angels by Within Temptation**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hagane no Renkinjutsushi; Hiromu Arakawa does.**

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It's a known fact that all military personnel are dogs.

Dogs of the military, to be more specific. We're outstandingly loyal and come running when called but yet we are placed on short leashes.

Things happen that we would never expect would. Things that go beyond the morals and laws of humanity and justice.

And if we dare run to the end of our leash and bark we're beat with a rolled-up newspaper.

Sit.

Stay.

Roll over.

Play dead.

I never gave much thought to how I would die. I always assumed it would be on the battlefield, loyally serving my Master. I was almost positive I was to die at Ishbal but by some stroke of luck I returned.

Now, though, I'm not so sure I want to go out that way.

Die as a dog of the military. With my tail wagging till to the end.

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**Author's Note: So there's the first chapter. Hoped you like it. Constructive criticism is allowed.**

**Mask of Mirage**


	2. The Dark Side of the Moon

**Chapter 2: The Dark Side of the Moon**

**Comments: Here's the second chapter for the story. It's angsty as hell but then again, I can be too.**

**Mood Song: Memories by Within Temptation**

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I was never the calm, cool, collected Colonel Roy Mustang that I portrayed in the office.

The leader who ruled with an iron fist.

Only two souls know that I have a borderline personality disorder. That I have to take a pill every morning, because of it.

That the night Marcoh stopped me from blowing a bullet into my brain wasn't the first time I tried to take my life.

Sadly, one of those two souls has passed on, leaving behind the ghost of my best friend and the numerous pictures of his daughter, Elysia.

Yet no one knows I adore chocolate with a burning passion. That classical symphony is played in my apartment all day, every day. That I find humor in making faces at my hound dog, Tanner, while he's asleep on my leather recliner. That I actually enjoy walking in the rain at night.

Because it's the only time I'll admit I'm useless. Funny, it only takes a few storm clouds and suicide attempts to make me believe that. That I'm not only useless in the rain.

But all the time.

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**Authors Note: I really enjoy writing this and I'll update as soon as I possibly can.**


	3. Whisper of the Beast

**Chapter 3: Whisper of the Beast**

**Comments: Like someone once told me, "I write for the same reason I breathe…cause if I didn't I would die."**

**Mood Song: Somewhere by Within Temptation**

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I can feel the plastic in my hand, the smooth flowing into grooved ridges. The empty hollowness inside.

Just hours earlier, I lay in bed, my stomach churning uncontrollably. Why did I keep punishing myself like this? Forcing myself to be the Fuehrer's lap dog, his own personal little pet?

I entered this profession to save lives not kill them like some mindless clone. I wanted to make the world a better place. What a fool I was!

The world would never change. I would live and die and the world would continue; I would just be another anonymity.

It's funny how you can turn the concept of 'the evil world' to 'nobody loves me' faster than you realize.

True, I have had many women in my life, too many one-night stands to count, and even a few engagements along the way. But I never had that person that loved me for me. What a cliché fairy tale.

Oddly enough, I feel like that person was in my life right now, I just didn't know who.

The empty pill bottle feels heavy in my hand. Bach is playing in the background.

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**Mask of Mirage**


	4. Because I'll Die if You Do

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Chapter 4: Because I'll Die if You Do

**Comments: Ya'll better be grateful I'm posting this because not only am I sunburned horrible from my little excursion to the lake but I also have a Laffy Taffy which spells out SUGAR HIGH! Forgive me if I do not make sense in these author's notes. Thankfully, I wrote this chapter last night. XD**

**Mood Song: Mother Earth by Within Temptation**

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An angel's voice is calling out for me through the deep. But I don't want to move. It feels so good to be floating here, in this peaceful limbo.

The angel is shouting now. Jarring my mind with its piercing cries.

Stop, angel. Allow me to sleep; I feel so tired. I feel my body being lifted and dragged.

The angel's hands feel warm and cold at the same time. How can that be? My head is knocked against something smooth and frigid.

The angel's fingers are at my lips, prying my mouth open.

What is he doing? Why is he sticking his finger down my throat? Is he trying to reach my soul? Why?

My soul is black, darkened with evil. No, benevolent angel. I cannot allow your beautiful hands touch upon a soul this distraught! I'm gagging as his finger brushes against the back of my throat.

I throw up.

My head is pounding as my vision slowly begins to return. I'm sitting on my bathroom floor in front of the toilet. The angel has disappeared to be replaced by a even more beautiful apparition: a human.

Edward Elric kneels in front of me, his amber eyes worried and brimming with unshed tears. I hear a pitiful keening sound escape from my chest.

"Oh Roy," Ed whispers, enveloping me in his arms.

I cling to his waist, my head pressed against his stomach. And bawl like a baby.

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**Mask of Mirage**


	5. Question to the World

**Chapter 5: Question to the World**

**Comments: This story may slow down for a while but I'm not abandoning it; I like it way too much. It's just that I'm trying to finish getting Plato's Law up ASAP and it doesn't leave me much time to work on this. I wrote this chapter this morning and it seems a little different to me; it could just me because I just woke up and everything seems a little different to me.**

**Mood Song: Frontline by Pillar**

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Somehow, without too much difficulty, Ed manages to get me to my bed. My throat is burning and my head hurts. Ed had forced me to throw up everything in my stomach, pills included.

He tucks the covers up to my chin and goes back into the bathroom. He returns moments later with a plastic trashcan and a damp rag. I roll away from him when he sits on the edge of the bed next to me.

"Roy, this is important, how many pills did you take?" he murmurs, draping the damp washcloth across my forehead. It feels cool against my flaming skin.

"I don't know, maybe six or seven."

There is a silence. For a moment, I thought he had left but the sloping pressure on the bed tells me otherwise.

"You scared me, Roy. When I got to you and you weren't moving, I thought you were dead," he finally mumbles.

And I would have been, you little brat. If you hadn't come in I would already be dead, floating in that dreamless haze. When I hear him open his mouth once more to speak, I am already braced for its coming.

"Why, Roy?"

I'm flattered that he was worried about me but I'm not about to tell him why I tried to kill myself.

That I thought myself to be a hindrance to everyone and I was lonely.

What a manly way to go out!

I am completely unprepared for his next comment when he moves to the other side of the bed to look me in the eyes.

"Pills don't always work; usually a rope or a gun gets the job done."

I gawk at him, too shocked to speak. He was telling me ways to kill myself as if we were two old ladies in the grocery conversing over the best sales!

At that moment, I chose to stick around for a while longer. There was more to this boy than he showed. And I was going to find out.

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**Mask of Mirage**


	6. Ghost of You

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Chapter Six: Ghost of You

**Comments: Yay! You're probably wondering why I'm so happy. Well, it's because I'm finally finished with Plato's Law. I told my mom and she went out and bought me Cherry Tootsie Pops (which just so happens to be my favorite candy). I think she was just relieved it was over; I tend to get quite moody when I have writer's blocks or when I wake up in the morning or when my door is open (OCD thing). -smiles- Enjoy chapter six!**

**Mood Song: You Run by Sumersed**

**Disclaimer: Do not own FMA but I do own the sucker I am currently devouring!!**

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I was at my wits end. No matter what I did, I couldn't kill myself. The gun jammed, the noose snapped in half, and the knife was too dull to cut paper.

I was seriously considering just bashing myself in the head with the blunt end of the gun.

I stumbled into the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. My eyes fell on a bottle of aspirin. Perfect. Unscrewing the lid, I dumped half the bottle in my mouth and washed it down with water from the sink.

This time the feeling is different.

Instead of that floating heaven, a burning sensation spread through my body. Gasping, I fall, knocking my head on the edge of the sink. I am lying on the bathroom floor, blood gushing from my forehead and the burning sensation in my body growing. It hurts so bad.

The pain. The blood is in my eyes. I can't see.

Breathing is becoming difficult; the fire has reached my throat. I try to scream but nothing comes out. My god, I'm mute! I claw at my throat, my nails drawing blood…

I bolt upright in my bed, gasping hard. My hand flutters at my neck, there's no blood. It's kind of disturbing when you think about it.

Dreams aren't supposed to feel that real.

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**Author's Notes: Hah. You probably thought he was dying. Again. I don't plan on killing Roy. He still has to fall in love with Edward.**

**Mask of Mirage**


	7. How To Save A Life

**Chapter 7: How to Save a Life**

**Comments: Okay, this story of mine has taken a dramatic curveball, particularly in my writing style. What started out as an angst-ridden drabble turned into a comedic romance. If you're anything like me then you're going to be sitting there going wtf? The thing is when I get started on something I can't turn back from it, especially the way I word my sentences. So I'm just going to let it flow the way it comes and temporarily push the angst into the closet. Unless you like this new method of writing.**

**Mood Song: Sooner or Later by Breaking Benjamin**

**Disclaimer: Do not own so do not sue.**

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Ed is there at the foot of the bed, a bowl in his hands. Setting it down, he crosses the room to the window. Opening the blinds, he unlocks the glass and pushes it open.

A cool breeze ruffles his hair and soars towards me, causing goosebumps to rise on the nape of my neck. Edward looks really beautiful standing there, the wind playing in his hair and his amber eyes catching rays of sunlight.

Ack! Bad thoughts.

I turn my head. With my pale complexion, I'm sure the blush is clearly visible on my cheekbones. I cannot think that way of him. Not only is he 14 years younger than myself but he is the State Alchemist.

Another dog of the military like me, just tied on a different leash. And with my skirt-chasing rep, I'm sure it'd shock the hell out of some people if I up and announced I fell for another man.

But, in all honesty, I have fallen for another man. I fell for him.

Yet, I never pursued it because of simple fear. Let's just say I don't take rejection very well.

As far as I knew, Edward could very well be asexual with his total lack of interest in women and men alike. At first I thought he might have liked Winry, the loud, petite, blonde girl that came around Central every now and then. But I was proved wrong when her and young Alphonse became something of an item.

"You need to eat this, your body is still weak."

His beautiful voice snaps me out of my thoughts long enough to realize that Edward has moved around the side of the bed, the bowl he had brought in cupped in his hands.

I stare at the contents inside. "What is it?" I ask, eyeing the grey matter suspiciously.

"Hot cereal. I found it in your cabinet. Now eat," he replied, shoving a spoonful at my mouth.

I pull back slightly. "Edward, that was there when I moved in. I'm pretty sure it came with the house."

"Shut up and eat."

His fingers prod my lips, trying to get them open far enough to shovel some of that disgusting gruel down my esophagus. Oh dear god.

His fingers are at my mouth, sending jolts of electricity through my body and I have to suppress the urge to suckle on them.

That would _not_ go over well.

I sit up and throw back the covers which force Edward and his spoon of doom to recede as well.

"What are you doing? You're still to weak to be moving about," he cries.

"I am going to go fix me some eggs and coffee, you know _real_ food."

He looks almost hurt but I remember this is Edward Elric. You couldn't squash him or bring him down. He was like a cockroach.

Now don't forget that I am Colonel Roy Mustang. A man who could hold his own and remain standing in the face of death, explosion of shrapnel inches from my face.

So why, of all times, did my legs decide to go out on me?

I wanted to chalk up the main reason to be more…gratifying instead of the simple fact that my still-weakened legs could not support my own body weight.

Whatever the reason I was pitched forward to the ground. Hi face, meet floor! Nice to meet you floor! My, my, you need to be swept, don't you?

Pain shoots through my jaw, my teeth rattling in my skull.

It was then I realized there was a very still, very warm body pressing very close to mine. I glanced down and gasped audibly.

Oh.

Dear.

God.

During my moment of idiocy and total lack of balance, I had managed to trip Edward and trap him underneath.

And not only was I probably crushing his slight frame with my own, that had seen much better days, but my body was beginning to react most evilly.

And the urge to press my lips over his so blatantly exposed collarbone was growing higher.

Added to the fact that I was simultaneously scolding my hand from traveling to his hair and , "Down, erection, down".

I was majorly screwed.

Nevertheless, my mouth, of its own stupid will, began to lower itself.

You could say I wasn't entirely surprised when a quite hard metal object kneed me.

I'll leave 'where' to your imagination. I'm sure you have one.

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**Author's Note: I want to apologize for just throwing in Roy's feelings so suddenly but I didn't want to go into elaborate details. This is more of a 'Roy pining with Edward, at first scared shitless and then gradually accepting' kind of story. I realize his feelings seem rushed but that's a story for a different time.**

**Mask of Mirage**


	8. Like A Drug That Gets Me High

**Chapter 8: Like A Drug That Gets Me High**

**Comments: Ah, more humor is this one…but be forewarned the next chapter I plan to put some angst in. Edward has cat-like reflexes.**

**Mood Song: Forget It by Breaking Benjamin.**

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Strange bright colors that took on the shape of bunnies flashes before my eyes and the pain from my groin shoots through my body. I hit the floor sideways, my hands shooting instinctively downwards.

Edward backs away on his butt, his eyes widened to almost popping out of his sockets. Great. Just great.

Way to go, Mustang, you have succeeded in scaring the shit out of the kid. Time to save your illicit, underaged statutory rape for some other time.

Rising unsteadily to my feet, I stumble to the door, clutching the frame for support. Edward remains motionless on the floor looking nothing short of paralyzed.

Groaning in pain, I manage to make it to my freezer where I grab a pack of frozen snow peas and unceremoniously dump them on my lap.

Ye gods, that felt good.

It wasn't long before I am joined by another being, who kept himself pressed against the counter, a table separating us.

"Mind explaining what the hell that was all about!" he demands.

"Calm down, FullMetal. You're making this into too big of a deal."

"Of course I'm making this a big deal cause it _is_ a big deal. You practically molested me on your bedroom floor!" he screeches.

I glance up at him. His usually meticulously braided hair is loose. Stray golden strands contrasting with the red of his jacket, a faint blush spread on the bridge of his cute button nose.

I don't know what it is.

Maybe it's the pain from my groin, the pills still floating in my system.

Or maybe last night, I had inadvertently vomited up my brain as well.

Because all rational though flies out the window on angel wings and in a tutu.

I grip Edward's arm and pull him to me, my lips pressing to his still-open mouth.

His reaction was to be expected yet I guess some sort of warning could've been helpful, to say in the least.

All I knew, was positively sure of, was that a foot found its way, yet again, to my already injured groin. I bring my head to the table with a loud thunk, willing myself to resist the urge to bawl like a baby.

"STOP DOING THAT," Edward screeches, backing quickly away.

"_YOU _STOP DOING_ THAT," _I yell back, my eyes brimming with moisture.

Mother of god, it hurt.

I really meant my voice to sound better than that. Yet it came out in a half-squeak that ended in a high-pitched yelp.

Oh yes, my ingenious well-though-out plan (note the sarcasm) was going straight to hell in a lovely hand basket.

Complete with a pretty pink bow.

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**Mask of Mirage**


	9. Breathe Your Life Into Me

**Chapter 9: Breath Your Life Into Me**

**Comments: The angst is back but only for a little bit. I don't know how long I plan to make this fic but I guess when I get tired of it, I'll end it then.**

**Mood Song: Breathe Into Me by Red**

**Disclaimer: You know I don't own it.**

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What started out as a horrible morning is quickly turning into a half-way decent afternoon. I had managed to down some applesauce much to Edward's manifest glee.

We're sitting across the living room from each other, the silent tension all but putting a physical barrier between us. Hell, I wouldn't even put that past the young alchemist, what with the apprehensive aura floating around his person.

I sigh nervously. Sooner or later I would have to tell him. Preferably later.

"Umm…FullMetal…Edward, I think I owe you an explanation." His almond eyes shoot up to look at me. "I don't know what came…" I am cut off by his voice.

"Can we not talk about this right now?" he says from his seat on the floor, a light pink dotting his cheeks.

I breathe a sigh of relief. Thank god. Oh, Roy Mustang, aren't you the coward. "Okay, what do you want to talk about? I'm up for anything."

"Tell me why you tried to kill yourself?"

Okay, maybe not that one. I would gladly confess my love for a 17-year old before I could comfortably discuss my suicidal attempts.

"I…uh…didn't want to kill anymore," I confess finally, turning my head slightly.

Edward stands up and takes a few steps forward, coming to rest in the armchair in front of me.

"I've killed too, y'know," he reasons, "but it's our job, we have to do it."

I look away again. He wouldn't understand. Well, apparently he can read minds because his next comment startles me.

"I would understand."

So. I told him. Everything.

Everything, except being in love with him. That would've crushed the mood. Dramatically.

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**Mask of Mirage**


	10. Off To Never Neverland

**Chapter 10: Off To Never Neverland**

**Comments: Another chapter popped out last night. Woot plot bunnies! I decided to bring in more characters because you know it would be funny if Havoc or Hawkeye accidentally walked in while Roy was professing his love.**

**Mood Song: My Immortal by Evanescence**

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Central hadn't changed one bit during my absence. Which was expected.

Yes, the paperwork had grown considerably higher and Hawkeye executed that damn pistol of hers a little less frequently, for reasons I can't begin to explain, but headquarters was the same old same old.

Which spelled boring with a capital B.

I was in my office, staring off into space, not doing particularly anything when Edward burst into my office.

Naked.

Okay, maybe not completely naked. But still, naked enough to allow my imagination to wander. And let me tell you, that thing can wander pretty damn far.

"FullMetal, care to explain why you're running around HQ with nothing but a towel?" I ask, trying to make my ogling discreet as possible. What?! Edward has a great upper body!

"Falman's car got stuck in the mud and my clothes were ruined so I took a shower and come to find out you disintegrated all the spare uniforms in a fit of rage and I'm not running around HQ in nothing but a towel; I still have my boxers."

"And…," I reply, waving my hand.

"Can I borrow some clothes?"

"Sure," I sigh, standing and walking to the wardrobe on the other side of the office. Pulling out a white dress shirt, I examine it and muse thoughtfully. "This should fit someone as small as you."

"Please, not with the short jokes today, I'm already irritated enough."

I smile smugly and toss him the shirt. He slips it on over his head and finishes buttoning the front. I snigger quietly. It comes all the way to his knees! But I have to admit he looks pretty damn sexy wearing my clothes. Maybe too sexy.

I watch as he deftly braids his loose golden hair into its customary plait.

With that familiar annoying heat pooling in my lower regions. I move around to stand behind the desk in case things begin to get downright embarrassing. He falls back on my leather couch, crossing his ankles.

I die a little inside.

"How are you doing today?" Edward murmurs after a little while.

Realizing what he was implying, I slam my hands angrily on the desk. "I don't sit around all day contemplating ways to kill myself, FullMetal!"

"I never said that," he replies coolly, studying his nails.

My face heats up and I stomp over to him, my hands raised to throttle him. But I stop when I get to him. My voice dies in my throat when I stare into deep amber orbs complete with coal pupils.

Sinking to the couch, I grip his forearm and bring him to me in a warm embrace. His body stiffens and tries to pull away but I had expected this.

"Thanks for caring about me FullMetal, but you have enough problems as it is without worrying yourself over me."

I can feel his breath tickling my ear and it makes me want to do things.

Naughty things. But I control myself.

"Are you gay, Colonel?"

"Only for you, Edward." I bend and kiss the skin right below his ear and he tenses at first but then just kind of melts into me.

Melts! If this is what heaven is like, put a bullet between my eyes and send my ass a'packin!

That thought is quickly shot down when I realize Edward is an atheist and won't be in my heaven. Oh, and the fact Havoc is standing in the doorway, Fuery and Falman behind him.

Mouths hanging agape.

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**Author's Note: Hope you liked it. I'll get started on the next chapter soon.**

**Mask of Mirage**


	11. Hard To Swallow

**Chapter 11: Hard to Swallow**

**Comments: Took my journal to the coast with me to work on this story and guess what? I DID! To all those who thought I was abandoning this fic, think again. I'm nowhere near done. **

**Mood Song: Zetsubou Billy by Maximum the Hormone**

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Their faces are taking on strange shades of purple and all seem unable to form a coherent sentence. During this momentary lapse of speech, I quickly formulate a story in my mind.

Cause they're never gonna believe me if I tell them anything short of plausible.

Edward is half-sitting on my lap, his face growing redder by the minute.

These are the moments I wish Hughes was here. He would know exactly what to do. Unfortunately, I got.

Squat.

And, damn, I've stalled too long.

"Colonel, sir, just what the hell are you doing?" Havoc says.

He looks sort of pissed. Which is understandable. If I was in his place, walking in to see my commanding officer half-molesting another guy 14 years his junior, I would be pretty pissed, too.

And then perhaps the worst possible thing that could happen.

Happens.

Hawkeye emerges from behind the group, pistol drawn at the ready. I about shat my pants.

"Step away from the boy. Slowly," she commands in a voice that would make Armstrong cower in fear.

So I stepped away. I mean, what the hell else was I supposed to do? Here was a crazy, blonde woman, who might as well have been Edward's surrogate mother, holding a gun. That I'd bet my left testicular was loaded.

Frightened was an understatement.

Then Edward does something so miraculous that I think I've fallen even more in love with him. He speaks.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye, I came on to Roy."

I can hear angels rejoicing in immaculate chorus in the background. The phrase, 'young grasshopper be patient, for good things will come to you,' doesn't seem so stupid now.

And it gets better.

"You see, me and the Colonel are dating." Edward lies, his great big amber eyes shining.

If there wasn't an armed weapon pointing at me, I would so hug the shit out of that boy.

Fuery and Falman look startled instead of just flat-out shocked, the color once again returning to their faces. Havoc still looks mighty pissed. And Hawkeye?

Hawkeye fires that godforsaken weapon of hers. Which narrowly misses my boot. Pretty sure my toes curled _in_ on themselves out of fear.

Her parting words, you say?

"I dare you to break up with him."

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**Author's Note: I had to bring Riza and the others in. Havoc is mad because he looks after Edward and doesn't want to see him get hurt. He is not jealous or have a secret crush on Roy or Edward. Just thought I throw that out there. Uncle Hughes says hi.**

**Mask of Mirage**


	12. Was Hast Du Mit Mir Gemacht

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Chapter 12: Was Hast Du Mit Mir Gemacht

**Comments: I apologize if the German title above isn't translated right but it means 'what have you done with me'. Or it should; I'm learning as fast as I can! Anyway, I wrote this chapter in like five minutes so forgive me again if things seem a little weird or rushed. They seem rushed to me but maybe I'm just paranoid.**

**Mood Song: Saku by Dir en Grey**

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I am afraid.

To come out of my office, to be more precise. And I really got to piss.

Because I know as soon as I walk out, Havoc will be breathing fire down my neck and yelling something along the lines of 'statutory rape is illegal' and Hawkeye would be off in a corner, her fingers fluttering at her holster in anticipation.

Damn trigger-happy wench.

So I'm stuck in my office with my 17-year old crush, who still has that adorable blush on his cheeks. "You didn't have to do that. I could've handled it. Now we have to pretend that we're dating," I tell him.

He frowns and looks away, crossing his arms over my shirt that is quickly becoming wrinkled. It gives him a bedraggled look. It's cute on him.

"You would like that, wouldn't you," he mutters, turning his eyes on me.

I would like that. Immensely so, but I'm not that much of a slob to voice it.

"It doesn't change anything between us," he continues, standing and crossing the room to stand in front of me.

I smile inwardly; he comes up to my chest. "Close your eyes," he murmurs, red dotting his cheeks once more.

"Why," I ask, amused.

"Just do it, Colonel Bastard."

"Okay, okay, pipsqueak."

I oblige and feel a hand on my shirt, dragging me down, pain shoots through my body as he knocks the wind out of me with his automail. And then something warm and soft is pressed against my lips. Edward moves his mouth cautiously over mine, his heady scent of peppermint and oil clouding my senses. I almost forget about the pain in my stomach. But before I can respond, he pulls away. His eyes flutter open and I can see his irises are a tad darker than normal.

"What was that for?" I murmur huskily. Wait, huskily? Since when has my voice been husky? Damn, when I fall, I fall hard.

"Practice," he replies innocently, " in case we have to do that in front of the others." e walks toward the door and opens it. "It doesn't mean anything," he mutters before shutting it behind him.

I smile to myself. He's wrong. Dead wrong.

It means something to me. It means the world to me.

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**Mask of Mirage**


	13. Killing Loneliness With You

**Chapter 13: Killing Loneliness With You**

**Comments: Surprise…I have nothing to say!**

**Mood Song: How about Killing Loneliness by H.I.M.**

**Disclaimer: You would know if I owned FMA…you would know.**

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Alphonse and Winry are here, visiting from Resembool. Let's just say, telling them Edward and I were 'dating' didn't go as planned. Not that we actually had a plan to begin with.

Alphonse actually fainted and Winry whacked me upside the head with a wrench. Damn, she was one violent chick.

I was lying on my office couch, nursing the bump on my cranium and idly wondering if Winry and Hawkeye were somehow related, when Alphonse suggested we go see a movie.

Going to the cinema was fairly expensive, seeing as they were just recently invented, but I am Colonel Roy Mustang. I have resources.

-evil laughter-

Little did I realize that this was a bad idea.

And hour into the movie. An altogether horrible idea.

Because Edward is so close to me, still dressed in my shirt and pants. And he smells so good. Peppermint and motor oil. Normally, this would be a weird combination but it seems to suit him.

And his hand is resting on the armrest between us. His automail hand.

Cautiously, slowly, I ease my hand under his and the intertwine our fingers.

Metal against flesh.

He glances over at me, eyes shining dimly in the light from the projector.

With a clink of metal joints, he grips my hand tighter.

I smile and turn back to the movie. His hand is surprisingly warm.

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**Mask of Mirage**


	14. Gone With The Sin

**Chapter 14: Gone With The Sin**

**Comments: Ah, back to the angst. Sorry, truly. But too much humor and light-hearted fun dampens my ability to write. What can I say, I'm an emo at heart. Forecast for today: Cynical with a slight chance of sarcasm. Keep an eye on the weather and tune in later for more updates.**

**Mood Song: Gone with the Sin by H.I.M. **

* * *

I'm on my way to my apartment after having already parting ways with the others when it begins to rain. I quicken my step not wanting to ruin yet another uniform. But it begins to pour, making my attempts futile.

I have no idea what happened earlier that night during the movie. No idea whether that simple squeeze of Edward's hand meant he was beginning to accept my feelings.

Or it was his way of saying, 'I address you as my superior and that's all you're ever going to be.'

Curse him for being vague with his emotions.

I'm almost to my apartment when I hear a soft yet shrill mewling sound coming from the edge of the sidewalk. I approach closer.

It's a kitten: wet, filthy and practically hairless. It's eyes are still sealed tightly closed meaning it wasn't all that long ago when it was born. It's stumbling around on unsteady paws, still emitting that heart-wrenching shrill.

I run the rest of the way to my apartment. Upon locking the door behind me, I sink to the floor, the rough wood at my back.

I take in big gulps of air. I realize with a heavy heart. Some things you just can't save.

* * *

**Mask of Mirage**


	15. Forget to Remember

**Chapter 15: Forget to Remember**

**Comments: Oh, how I've upset my reviewers. I guess I apologize for bringing back the angst but as my best friend would say, "Your doom and gloom rain cloud follows you everywhere."**

**Mood Song: Crawling by Linkin Park**

* * *

"_Do you pull me up just to push me down again?" -'Happy' (Mudvayne)_

* * *

The hardwood floor against my back feels surprisingly good. I'm lying here between the couch and the coffee table watching the ceiling fan turn.

Around and around.

A half-empty bottle of wine, that I was saving for a special occasion, is clutched loosely in my hand. Oh, Mustang, can't you overcome the trials of life without drinking yourself into a coma?

But I can't lie. I feel terrible about what I did. Or didn't do.

It was just an animal. That's what I kept telling myself. It was better to forget it was ever out there than to bring it here and have it die on me. In my arms, stiff and lifeless.

I bring the bottle to my mouth and take a swig. I can feel my body growing warm, my mind settling in some sort of fog.

Till all I'm aware of is Tchaikovsky playing gently from the other side of the room and the ceiling fan.

Spinning slowly on its axis. Round and round.

* * *

**Mask of Mirage**


	16. Lost Found Dead

**Chapter 16: Lost. Found. Dead.**

**Comments: Apparently 'animal cruelty' is more taboo than suicide. Who would've thunk it? I guess that's life for you.**

**Mood Song: Rain. Sun. Gone. by Mudvayne**

**Disclaimer: If I owned this…there would be no such thing as crack pairing between the Flame and FullMetal. It would be canon.**

* * *

Hangovers are the devil. The absolute devil.

I can feel the dull pounding in my temples even before I open my eyes. And the hard floor that felt so good against my back the night before.

Yea, not so much anymore.

Tanner approaches me and begins to lap at my face with his long, sloppy tongue. I emit a guttural groan and roll over on my stomach, my nose pressed squarely against the rug.

Aspirin.

It's the only thought that crosses my mind and I realize, with another defeated groan, that there isn't any left after I…

The clock on the wall ticks loudly. In a slow, infuriating kind of way. The radio, that I hadn't bothered to turn off, is playing; the symphony light and chipper than what I usually listen to.

These sounds grate on my ears, pushing past into my brain and remain there, pulsing behind my eyes.

I'm going to be late for work. But, then again, I don't really think my head could take Hawkeye's commanding tone and her faithful M1911 .45 Caliber.

I think I'm just going to lie here till someone starts to wonder where the Colonel is and decides to come check on me.

Which could be days from now.

Cause who, honestly, cares about Roy Mustang?

* * *

**Mask of Mirage**


	17. Sick of Feeling Numb

**Chapter 17: Sick of Feeling Numb**

**Mood Song: Duck and Run by 3 Doors Down**

* * *

An undetermined number of hours later, I hear the front door creak open, the bottom dragging slightly on the polished hardwood. And his voice rings out in the foyer, the soft melody sounding in my ears.

And it doesn't affect my pounding brain. Go figure. This truly must be love.

And I tilt my head up to see him standing there. It should be a crime to look as beautiful as he does.

"How'd you get in?" I mumble, my voice sounding cracked and grating, like I was speaking through a fan. It disturbs me. He snorts and moves to kneel next to my prone form, one leg tucked under him, the other drawn up to rest his chin on.

"That's a stupid question even for you, Colonel." There's a silence and I wonder idly if Tanner has enough food and water. "I'm an alchemist, remember," he replies finally, by way of explanation.

For some strange reason this irritates me slightly. Of course I remember! I had a hangover. I wasn't drunk. It means I was drunk _yesterday._ I wasn't so far gone that I had lost the ability to retain even the simplest of knowledge.

Oh great, now I'm pissy.

Slowly, I raise myself up on my hands and maneuver my body till I'm sitting, my back to the recliner. When I stare into his eyes, I can feel the anger and hurt seep from my body, escaping through my pores and forming a puddle of useless emotions at my feet.

Edward is just one of those people you could get mad at easily but you can't be angry with him for long.

"By the looks of that empty wine bottle, it would seem you were drinking," he states calmly.

Well thank you, Captain Obvious, for that brilliant deduction.

Oh.

Here I go again. God, I'm an asshole.

Sighing deeply, I run a hand through my hair, it feels stiff and slightly oily. Gah, I need a shower. It's the first thing on my agenda, the second being me ravaging the boy in front of me.

And now I'm in dire need for my shower to be a cold one. And I'm staring at him, into him, my eyes like invisible fingers pawing at his soul. Reaching out my hand, I rest it on his head.

"Thanks for coming," I murmur, tangling my fingers slightly in his golden bangs.

He smiles wide. The kind of smile that crinkles the skin around your eyes.

And the cold shower has now become a necessity.

"I'll always come," he grins childishly. I resist the urge to tackle him to the floor.

* * *

**Mask of Mirage**


	18. Losing Soul

**Chapter 18: Losing Soul**

**Author's Note: I have the feeling that you are going to hate me after the next few chapters.**

**Mood Song: You Save Me by Kenny Chesney.**

* * *

Needless to say I didn't return to work that day and Edward stayed with me. He was even kind enough to run down to the drugstore and pick me up some aspirin.

Though he only gave me two and kept the bottle in his coat pocket. I didn't care in the least bit, as long as he was here. With me.

Around dusk, I was starting to grow restless around the house and suggested we go for a walk. It was beginning to grow chilly out so I pulled my coat tighter up around my chin.

And when we passed under a streetlamp that was just flickering on, bathing the sidewalk in pale light, that was when I saw it.

The vacant expression that hung dully in his almond orbs. I stared intently at it, foolishly wishing it would disappear right before my very eyes. Gently, I nudged him in the shoulder and he turned his hawk-like gaze on me and I was hit full-force with the sadness those eyes held.

"Are you alright?" I question softly, wanting so much to cup his face in my hand.

He lets out a short, barking laugh and I notice his fingers clutch as his cloak subconsciously. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?" he smiles.

But the vacant look doesn't leave his eyes, only seeming to cloud his vision further. I shake my head and sigh. "No reason."

No more words are spoken and I end up walking him home. And I catch it one last time before he shuts the door.

The same blank expression and I realize with a gasp on the sidewalk what it was exactly. A biting wind picks up and forces me to walk faster. Back to my apartment. Back to my haven.

For I saw Death. And it mocked me.

* * *

**Mask of Mirage**


	19. Calm Before the Storm

**Chapter 19: Calm Before The Storm**

**Comments: Okay, this chapter is incredibly short but the meaning behind it is very important.**

**Mood Song: Break My Fall by Breaking Benjamin**

* * *

Do you know that feeling you get right before a really heavy rainstorm?

The complete and utter calm.

You can smell the moisture on the air, almost tangible on the tip of you tongue, and you know any second the heavens are going to burst forth and drown you in their sorrows.

Ready.

Waiting.

Almost upon you.

I had the exact feeling when I woke the next morning. It followed me into the shower, through breakfast, and shadowed me on my way to work.

Something big was about to happen. I didn't know what. And frankly, I didn't want to.

I could smell the storm and I was powerless to stop it. All I could do was wait for it to catch up to me and drench me in its pouring liquid.

Snuffing us all out with its sheer power.

* * *

**Mask of Mirage**


	20. This Is How I Break

**Chapter 20: This Is How I Break**

**Comments: -dodges sharp pointy item thrown at her- Please, please forgive me! You'll find out why soon enough.**

**Mood Song: Gone Forever by Three Days Grace**

* * *

**--**

"_No time for goodbye," he said as he faded away. _

"_Don't put your life in someone's hands, they're bound to steal it away."_

"_Don't hide your mistakes. Cause they'll find you, burn you." _

_-Get Out Alive (Three Days Grace)_

_--_

* * *

When Hawkeye bursts into my office, panting hard, I immediately know something is wrong. Terribly wrong.

"Hurry. It's Edward," she says.

But I'm already out of my chair, pushing past her. I don't think I've ever run that fast, that far, in my entire life. I can feel my blood pumping in my veins, a pulsing command to hurry faster.

Thump.

Hurry to him.

Thump.

Hurry to save him.

Thump.

I follow the crowd that is also running, their voices high with excitement.

How can they be excited when something possibly bad has happened to my dear Edward? I want to spit on them.

Then I see him. He's high up on one of Central's main buildings, arms spread out wide.

No.

My heart clenched painfully and I rush forward, pushing through the crowd to the front. Some of the utter complaints and curses as they're shoved. Fuck them. He's going to jump. Can't they see he's going to jump?

"Edward! No!," I scream, my throat constricting tightly.

Oh god, no, please don't.

The wind suddenly dies and his cloak flutters motionless around his knees. He bends them. And leaps.

_Sit._

I'm screaming, cursing, pleading as Havoc and Falman are suddenly there to hold me back.

_Stay._

Oh, god, no. No. NO! **No!**

_Roll over._

I feel myself falling with him and I want to shut my eyes. So bad. So damn bad. But I can't. I'll miss it. I'll miss him. "Edward!"

His name dies on my lips, echoing off the alley's walls. It's the only sound that is made among the crowd. No, please god, no.

_Play. Dead._

* * *

**Author's Note: -straps bullet-proof vest on- This isn't the end. Don't give up on this fic. I'm nowhere near done.**


	21. Was it a Dream?

**Chapter 21: Was it a Dream?**

**Comments: Wow, I've never gotten so many death threats at one time in my entire life! I kid, I kid. I don't think they were really going to kill me. They would have to find me first and, believe me, I am not an easy person to find. I ruled at Hide & Seek! Once again, forgive me for 'hurting' Edward.**

**Mood Song: Blow Me Away by Breaking Benjamin**

**Note: Not even the same anime but I gotta do it. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SASUKE, YOU ASS!**

* * *

Miracles.

I always believed they were reserved for children and the devoutly religious.

So I wouldn't exactly call the refrigerated truck, that passed by at that precise moment, a miracle but simply a stroke of pure luck.

The gathering was dead silent as the initial sound of a body smacking tin echoed loudly. It took me all of five seconds to recover and sprint to the truck, scrambling up the hood to the roof with energy I didn't think I possessed.

He looked to be dead at first and my heart plummeted but he surprised me by emitting a short, rasping cough. Blood trickled out the edge of his mouth. I wiped it gently away with my thumb.

"Edward, can you hear me?"

I was relieved when he let out a low moan and gripped my uniform with his automail hand. By this time, the ambulance was there and they lifted him off the roof of the truck onto the stretcher.

His fingers never left my shirt.

The ride to the hospital wasn't long but it seemed like we couldn't get there fast enough. They inserted an I.V. into his arm and I saw him wince in discomfort.

I smiled wryly to myself. Even in this state he dislikes needles of any sort. I gripped his hand tighter in mine.

They rushed him into the hospital and only then did his arm fall limply at his side. "Roy…don't leave…me," he murmurs before his head rolls listlessly to the side.

"Sir, you're going to have to wait in the lobby," a nurse intercepts me before I could follow into the room they were rolling him in.

Reluctantly, I obeyed. I don't think that poor linoleum ever saw that much foot traffic.

* * *

**Author's Note: This chapter didn't seem to come out the way I wanted. I'm feeling sickly so chapters may be coming slower.**

**Mask of Mirage**


	22. Take Back the Torment

**Chapter 22: Take Back the Torment**

**Author's Note: Hm, death threats still stand. I guess that means I should really update faster than I already am.**

**Mood Song: Helena by My Chemical Romance**

* * *

_--_

'_Why does it sound like the devil is laughing?'_

--

* * *

In the midst of my pacing, I see the doctor standing off to one side. It looks as if he's almost smiling.

"Is he going to be okay?" I inquire frantically. He must have seen the tension in my face because he chuckles softly. I want to punch him in the teeth.

"He has a few broken ribs and he took a pretty nasty blow to the head but he's awake and fine," he finally answers me.

I brush past him, not caring if it's visiting hours or not. I'm the Colonel, damn't!

He's sitting up in bed, eyeing the IV in his arm warily. He looks up when I enter and a honest-to-god smile graces his features. I can't decide whether to throttle him or embrace him. So I slap him.

Then kiss the spot where my hand left an imprint. Of course. He looks startled.

"How dare you put me through that! Do you have any idea what you did to me?"

He bristles with anger, typically, and glares at me. "Oh shove it. It wasn't your choice."

I pinch the bridge of my nose, willing the impending headache away. Silently, I sit on the edge of his bed, moving his legs aside. "Do you want to talk about it?" I say in my gentlest voice possible.

He smirks and I know what's coming. Really, it's Edward. "Did you give up on being Fuhrer and decide to be a shrink instead?"

His next words are caught in his throat as I silence him with my mouth. Instinctively, I cover my crotch with my hands just in time before his fist came down. Ha, I've gotten smarter.

He jerks away from me, panting heavily. "I got tired." He said it so low that I had to lean in to hear the rest.

"I got tired of doing all these missions and failing. Getting nowhere closer to getting my brother's body back. And it's all my fault anyway. If I hadn't pressured him into doing the transmutation and trying to bring…none of this would have happened."

He grew silent and that vacant expression was back, clouding his eyes. He looked like he wanted to cry but I knew he wouldn't; not again, not in front of me. Too much stubborn pride in that boy.

How could I have missed this? I was so caught up in my own shit that I failed to see him grow more and more depressed by the day. He was too busy trying to save me from a dark, bottomless pit. And he couldn't even save himself!

Quietly, I gather him in my arms, careful to mind his ribs, and hold him to me. He doesn't seem to have much fight left in him so just sort of sinks into my embrace.

His flesh hand, which clasps onto my shoulder, is warm. There's still a lot of life in this boy. I'm not going to give up on him.

Ever.

* * *

**Mask of Mirage**


	23. To Get Inside of You

**Chapter 23: To Get Inside of You**

**Comments: The title is taken from Hoobastank's Inside of You. Do not own. Duh. -starts singing along- The song is so dirty but I love it.**

**Mood Song: Wenn Nich Mehr Geht by Tokio Hotel**

* * *

It was decided three days after that Edward was allowed to go home as long as he took it easy. Which would be no problem. I had already made arrangements.

"You're going to be living with me," I informed him as I eased him into the back seat of the car.

He shoots me a glare but then catches sight of Havoc driving up front and bats away my hands.

Oh. He's bashful. That's cute.

"It seems I don't have much choice in the matter."

He scoots all the way over to his window as I slam the door behind me.

"It's been hell without you at the office, Colonel, with Hawkeye breathing down our necks instead of yours," Havoc says from the front seat.

"Is that so? I've only been out four days."

"Yea, and you should see the mountain of paperwork on your desk."

"How lovely," I mutter sarcastically. If there's one thing I hate, it's paperwork.

I try to help Edward up the steps to my apartment but he won't have it. Then comes the problem of where he's supposed to sleep. "You have my bed, I'll take the couch," I try to reason with him.

He shakes his head and I want to pop him a good one. "No, this is your house, I can't have you sleeping on the couch," he argues.

And before I realize the words are out of my mouth, the words…well, they're out of my mouth. "How about we both take the bed?"

There is a long, pregnant silence and I'm mentally beating the shit out of my head. Good one, Roy. Now we're back to our illicit fantasies.

"W-what?" he stammers as I try to desperately save face.

"Yeah, I mean, I have a king and then we'll both be comfortable."

He looks a little nervous. Hopping from foot to foot. And that scarlet hue that's appearing on his face is actually really cute. On him, only.

"I'm going to go take a shower."

And he's gone. A flash of red, black, and gold. And I'm heading to my kitchen.

A bottle of brandy is calling out to me.

* * *

**Author's Note: Ha, Roy's slowly becoming an alcoholic.**

**Mask of Mirage**


	24. Hold Me Like You Held Onto Life

**Chapter 24: Hold Me Like You Held Onto Life**

**Mood Song: Vampire Heart by H.I.M.**

* * *

If I thought Edward in boxers and a dress shirt at HQ was alluring, imagine, if you will, Edward in boxers and a dress shirt in my house would be.

Alone. With me.

Dinner was an quiet affair. Possibly due to my cooking skills. Or lack thereof. But it was probably, with every tick of the second hand, it was getting closer and closer to bedtime.

Usually I welcome bedtime with open arms and a contented groan. Me and sleep were made for each other. Two peas in a pod, the salsa to my chips…oh, you get the idea. But, for perhaps the first time in my life, I was not looking forward to sleep.

I glanced at the clock once more. It couldn't be put off any longer. It was getting late and I had to get up for work in the morning.

Regardless, I took my time in the shower, stalling till the water got cold. After dressing, I took a deep breath and walked across the hall to my bedroom.

Edward was lying on his back, quite literally on the very edge of the bed. Silently, I turn off the light and slip under the covers.

Almost instantaneously, I am suddenly hyper-aware of the other presence in my bed, even though we were a good 20 inches apart. I could hear his breathing and judging by the pace of it, he was just as tense as I was.

The urge to lean over and close the gap between us had never been as strong as it was now.

Behave, Roy. Be-have.

"Roy?"

I quite nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard him speak next to me. "Y-yes?"

I was grateful the room was dark so he couldn't see the embarrassed blush that crept up my neck.

"Thanks for letting me stay with you and good night," he murmurs before I feel him shift and roll over, his back to me.

"No problem." I wasn't sure if he had already fallen asleep so I added the next comment as an after-thought. "Sweet dreams." I lie there, allowing his steady breathing to lull me to sleep.


	25. Send Me An Angel

**Chapter 25: Send Me An Angel **

**Comments: Oh, what fun. This chapter will be pushing the envelope just a bit because I think it's high time that Edward is faced with a horny Roy. It is, after all, Chapter 25.**

**Mood Song: Send Me An Angel by Zeromancer**

* * *

I was awoken around midnight by Edward's feet crashing down on my face. The flesh foot hurt bad enough but I'm pretty sure the automail one realigned my jaw.

So, he kicks in his sleep. And apparently turns, as well. Why else would his feet be in my face when obviously I was still lying vertical?

Gently, I grasp his ankles and turn his body back to where his head is on the pillow. He mumbles something incoherent in his sleep and throws an arm over my stomach.

And.

Snuggles.

Up.

To.

Me.

My breathing stops for a moment and I can feel the blood rush from my face. Probably heading towards another destination.

Oh, wait. Yes, yes it has.

I'm caught between waking him and he yelling at me for what a dirty, old man I was for taking advantage of him while he was asleep. Or having him wake the next morning in the same position and be even more upset. Either way, violence on his part was sure to play its hand.

But I'm really, really uncomfortable. What with his arm pinning both of mine to my sides and the steadily growing erection due to his warm breath against my shoulder.

Ever so gently, I nudge him with my hip. And guess what this little shit, this little demon summoned straight from my own personal hell, does next.

You'll never guess so don't hurt yourself trying.

Edward, in one quick fluid motion, rolls on top of myself. And stays.

We are quite literally in a compromising position. And whatever god there was, because I was severely starting to doubt his existence, was probably off somewhere laughing his ass off.

Take a wild stab at who blearily blinks their eyes open. A little hint: It's not me, mine are as wide as dinner plates.

Edward emits a little half-squeak and tries to slide off but ends up brushing roughly against a very sensitive part of my anatomy. Oh, for the love of Pete!

"Edward, Edward, Edward, Edward," I chant in some sort of mantra, my voice hitting an unusually high-pitched note.

Now his eyes are matching mine in size but at least he's stopped moving. Thank god. Not that I believe there is one, still kind of pissed for this whole predicament in the first place.

"Roy…" he whispers, his voice frightened and confused.

"Please don't speak."

Him talking would blow my self-control right out of the water and the last thing I needed at the moment was a court martial for dishonorable conduct. In English, that means getting caught doing the nasty with a teenage kid.

Though, if he were compliant, we wouldn't get into too much trouble. I shake my head, all this thinking was not helping my erection in the least little bit.

"Roy, what is that?" he asks quietly.

"What is what?" I knew damn well what it was so I have no clue why I was playing dumb.

"That pressed against my thigh…is that…my god…it is!" he yells, shifting his body in an attempt to get away from me.

I lost all common sense in the heated brushing of our thighs. In one quick motion, I flipped him over, covering his body with mine, watchful for his still injured ribs. His eyes were wide and startled.

"Please Roy, get off, I'm scared."

The last statement hit me in the face like a bucket of icy water. What the hell was I doing? I was practically letting my other head do all the thinking for me. Pun so intended.

"You're not afraid of me, are you?" What a stupid, pointless question. It was obvious that I was. But, to my intense shock, he shakes his head slightly.

Supporting myself with my elbows, I stare into his eyes, our noses merely inches away from each other. "What are you scared of then?"

I wanted him so bad but lately it seemed that I was pressuring him into something he wasn't quite sure of himself. I needed to know where Edward stood on our relationship, if you could even call it that, and he needed to know now!

So without further thought, I closed the distance between our faces and pressed my lips to his.

* * *

**Author's Note: Now we wait…**


	26. Listen To Your Heart

**Chapter 26: Listen To Your Heart**

**Comments: This chapter is mostly a teaser, probably just to annoy all you readers. Haha. No, but is extremely important to the plot so go with it.**

**Mood Song: Wheel in the Sky by Journey**

**Disclaimer: In a bout of weird luck, I won FMA in a card game. In the same bout of luck, I was escorted to a padded room by really nice doctors in white.**

* * *

He stiffened at the contact immediately, like I expected. I pull back slowly, waiting for his brilliant amber orbs to blink open.

But to my surprise, they don't. His breathing is harsh and erratic and for a moment I fear that I may have jostled his ribs. Suddenly, before I had time to react, he grips the front of my shirt and pulls his body up, very lightly moving his lips over mine.

He then smoothly slides from under my arm and escapes out the bedroom door. I lie there, too stunned to move. Okay, let's recap. First he kisses me, his first time of his own free will, then he runs from me.

This was quickly becoming a game of cat and mouse. And somehow, I was beginning to think I was the mouse.

Rising unsteadily to my feet, I pad silently through my apartment in search of my little blonde alchemist sporting automail. No use denying it anymore. He is mine. Whether he realized it or not.

I find him in the kitchen, gripping the countertop so hard his knuckles have turned white from the effort. A glass of water sits untouched before him.

"Shit," he mutters, to himself, nervously tapping his knee against the cabinet door.

I don't think he's realized I'm standing in the doorway yet. Damn, I've spoken too soon. His head turns and he locks eyes with me. I watch, in suppressed amusement, as his face turns a bright, tomato red.

He reaches out to his glass, misses, and knocks it off onto the rug, its contents seeping into the fabric. His face goes a darker hue in the spectrum of red and he averts his eyes.

I bend to retrieve the glass only to realize he is trying to do the same. He emits an yelp of surprise when we knock heads, both falling back on our butts. He growls, frustrated. "You make me feel so weird!"

"Believe me, the feeling is more than mutual," I reply weakly, gingerly touching my forehead. Am I bleeding? No, okay. "Elaborate on that last part, please," I continue.

He raises an eyebrow at me. "Come again?"

"How do I make you feel weird?" I explain.

Hm, is that shade of crimson humanly possible? It is on Edward, I guess. "Um..uh?" he fidgets nervously.

"Aren't we past shy," I smirk at him.

He looks puzzled at first but quickly recovers. "You make me feel like a teenage girl."

Wait. What?

I didn't know I had _that _effect on people? He must have seen the confused glint in my eyes cause he sighs dramatically.

"Hot and bothered, Roy, you make me feel fucking hot and bothered!"

"Really?" Gah, that came out sounding more cocky than I intended.

"Yes, really," he replies sarcastically, suddenly reaching out and gripping the back of my neck and pulling me to him in a heated kiss.

Inner Roy is doing his trademark Roy-dance and Outer Roy is quickly becoming a pile of goo.

Nice, sloppy, stupid goo.

Somewhere between his warm mouth on mine and his fingers knotting in my hair, I lost my coordination along with my reflexes.

Not bothering to judge the distance between the table and myself, I pushed him on his back.

Managing to knock my head rather soundly on the table leg. Ooh, I see pretty stars. Yep, only I can turn a potential make-out scene into a concussion.

And you're asking what Edward is doing? He's laughing his ass off, of course.

* * *

**Authors Note: And you thought that they were finally going to get it on like rabbits.**

**Mask of Mirage**


	27. Hooked On You

**Chapter 27: Hooked On You**

**Comments: All right, this is the second to the last chapter. I know, I know, don't kill me. **

**Mood Song: Your Guardian Angel by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus**

* * *

An unknown number of hours later, I'm lying, sprawled, on my leather sofa, holding an ice-pack to my throbbing skull. Out of all the scenarios that could've happened, I honestly didn't see that one coming. But then again, who would have?

Edward is silently fidgeting in the recliner, his eyes looking everywhere but me.

"Okay," I begin, "while I'm in this vulnerable state, I think it would be the perfect opportunity to talk this out."

Edward directs his attention, finally, to me and I take this as a sign to continue.

"I haven't been very subtle with my actions and you have probably realized already that I like you. A lot actually. Hell, when I get nervous I tend to talk myself into a hole so I'm just going to spit it out. Edward, I'm in love with you and I know there's a huge difference in age but-"

"I don't care about age," he interrupts, shaking his head.

"You what…what are you trying to say?"

"I love you, too." He says it so plainly that I do a double take to make sure he's not pulling my leg. I'm at a loss for words.

He loves me. As in, he feels the same way as I do, possible has all along. I feel a little piqued that I made a fool out of myself during all this time.

But then again, maybe we're both just fools in love.

"But-"

Oh no, there's a but. Note to self: Hunt down Webster and kick his interfering ass for putting such a condescending word in his dictionary.

"But, we're going to have to tell everyone the truth about us," he finishes.

I nod glumly. Hawkeye was going to shoot me full of holes for lying to her.

I'm so caught up in wondering how a chair could be a good shield that I fail to notice that Edward has moved until I feel weight on my abdomen.

"This is a nice change opposed to you running from me or hitting me in the groin," I mutter, tongue in cheek.

He leans forward, his bangs brushing my forehead. "I was thinking, instead of hitting you, I could just do this."

And he grabs me. Holy fu- When the hell did he grow a backbone?!

And just as suddenly as it came, the warmth of his hand leaves and I'm left trying to catch the breath that left me in a nice whooshing noise.

"Dirty, old man," he mutters, resting his head on my chest.

"Keep it up, short stuff, and I'll dump you on the floor."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT--"

I silence him with my mouth, my tongue slipping out to slide along his lower lip in a sensuous motion. I practically sigh into his mouth when it opens for me.

And then I'm kissing him. Teaching him with my tongue how to fight back. He tastes amazing. Like strawberries and the mint from his toothpaste.

When air becomes necessary for both of us, his head falls limply back on my chest. I kiss his hair and his fingers fiddle with the buttons on my pajamas.

"I'm tired," he murmurs absentmindedly.

Reaching around to the back of the sofa, I pull the throw down and cover our bodies with it. His fingers stop moving and his breathing almost lulls me back to sleep.

"Roy," he whispers, fatigue slurring his words.

"Yes," I reply, not bothering to open my eyes.

"I love you."

I pull him closer to me.

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**Author's Note: Ah, shameless fluff…**


	28. You Found Me

**Chapter 28: You Found Me**

**Comments: Okay, now is the time where I run from all of you whilst you hunt me down, hell-bent on mutilating my body. In other words, this story has come to its end. I felt it was time to end it and if I just prolonged it, I was going to hit some major writer's blocks. I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I did writing it.**

**Mood Song: Umbrella by Rihanna **

**Disclaimer: It would be nice to own it seeing as it's the last chapter but unfortunately my therapist won't allow me, even now.**

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"_You found me_

_When no one else was looking_

_How did you know just where I would be_

_Yeah, you broke through all of the confusion_

_The ups and the downs and you still didn't leave_

_I guess that you saw what nobody could see_

_You found me"_

* * *

It took a lot of persuasion on our part but me and Edward managed to get all those at Central to see things our way.

Though a better part of an hour was spent dodging kamikaze bullets.

We even won Havoc over, after he was certain I wasn't going to hurt my little Edo-chan.

Ha, he hates it when I call him that.

We went on our 'first' date the other night and later, back at my apartment, consummated our relationship. I'm not going to delve into the gory details because those kinds of things are meant for only Edward and I.

Shh, I'll tell you later.

So this is where my story ends.

Me and Edward still fight like we used to. At times, I want to bash either mine or his head against a desk.

Usually his.

Most of the time, it's mine.

I still call him Shorty and he still calls me Bastard. Hey, whoever said love was easy or perfect?

I've become comfortably numb in his presence, although I still take my meds daily. I try not to think of what may happen in the future. Good or bad.

For now, I would just like to stay right here. With him in my arms.

Hopelessly blissful and blind.

* * *

**Author's Note: A huge thanks to all those who reviewed this story or put it on their alert list. You guys are the best! I mean that.**

**Mask of Mirage**


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